ALL photos shown today are from July 2008I love to blog. I know you know that. I love it a bit too much, now I'm realizing. By blogging, I mean posting entries here, on my blog, I also mean reading friends' blogs & other people's blogs, I also mean trying to leave a comment to most of them, as often as I possibly can.
I love to find new websites. Very useful websites, pretty websites, smart websites, lotsa websites. I love it a bit too much.
I love to be on Flickr. Posting photos, and visiting my friends' & contacts' Flickrs. I love photos so much. I love to stay up to date with my friends happenings, joys, sorrows or creations. I love to share mine. I adore to be on Flickr. Probably a bit too much, I suppose.
I turn my laptop on at around 07.30am, and turn it off around midnight. And if I'm not shopping for food, doing laundry, washing dishes, hoovering, tidying everyone's mess up, crafting or thinking about our coming move, I'm online. Which means a lot. Probably too much. Yes, no doubt too much.
I suppose that in June & July, I'll have my hands full & my mind pretty busy, with all the move stuffs. In May + June, I'll be busy packing. Not 24 hours a day, I know (I hope !! LOL), but I'm sure it will take a lot of time. And in July + August, I'll be busy getting settled in our new place. I remember last time we moved (moving here, July 2007), I got most of our stuffs in place rather quickly. Faster than I thought, I clearly remember. I hope it'll be the same next time as well.
I have enough fabrics, notions & ideas to keep me busy for a whole year (or two ?!) ... but everyday, hours pass each one after the other, and with housework forever coming back, I complain (to myself) that I don't get enough time to bring my ideas to life, or simply to let my imagination go "wild" & bloom. Most days, the same things come back on my to-do list, again & again, and again and again. And it doesn't make me very happy or satisfied.I love creating. I've realized that these last months more than never. I try to create for my boys, for my friends (gifts), and for my shop. I hardly make things for myself. But inside myself, I feel it's not enough. I don't create enough for my boys, don't create enough for my shop, and don't create enough at all for my hubby and for myself. I'm not talking particularly about making clothes, because I've never made any. But, things, useful things, beautiful things. Things made with memories from the past, things made for the future, and for the present, of course.
I want to try new techniques, ones I never used before, ones that appeal to me. Watercolors, collages, machine embroidery ... And also going back to "old" ones. Hand embroidery ... for instance. But all these take so much time ...
I wish my days were 72 hours long. How much I'd love this ! But no. That's never going to happen. Never ever. I have to accept that. I CAN NOT stretch time. I have to make a better use of it. I don't mean to craft 20 hours a day. But being efficient when my free time allows me to. And being super efficient as well when that free time is over & that I have to take care of the boys. I want to do more for the boys, but also with the boys. Create more with them, learn them more things, share more things with them.
We're going to move. Our life is going to change. Once again. In many ways. Chris will get his previous job back, and his previous work schedule back. Which is at the opposite extreme of his current one. Currently, he takes the express train to go to Paris, to his work, which usually takes 45mn to 1h15mn, depending on the incidents that may or may not happen on the way. Then he works there for approx. 10 hours, taking a short break for lunch. (he brings his lunch from home) Then he takes the express train back, and there're usually more problems then, and he usually gets back home later than he'd like. He doesn't get to see the boys for very long (yes, still a bit, but not enough in our opinion), and then it's the boys' bed time. When we'll have moved, this schedule is going to change so much. We're going to look for an appartment close to his work, and close to the boys' schools. (yep, easier said then done, I know that !) Chris will be working from/at home, most of the time. (I'd say ... um ... 80% of the time, if not more) He'll be at home with me, to cook, to share a cuppa, to work & to live. He'll be at home, with the boys, and will see them live, druing the day, and not only one hour in the morning, one hour in the evening, and on weekends. I know this lifestyle is not for everyone. But it seems the best for us. Chris could have had a much better paid job, but the lifestyle that came along with it was not the one we were aspiring to. Too much stress, too much work, not enough time, never enough time to get things done, even the most simple things ... really, that lifestyle is not what we're looking for, for now, and for the rest of our life. We want to live together, as a couple and as a family. We want to share, to love, to embrace life & enjoy every second of it while we can, while we're alive. Life's too short.I must. I must force myself to be much less online. It's going to be oh my goodness so very difficult for me.
I'm going to try to blog a bit less often. To be on Flickr a bit less often too. To visit a bit less blogs. Focus. Less, but better. Less in quantity, but better in quality. I should have thought about this way before. I would have lost less time.
Now, I'm sorry if I don't visit you everyday. Or don't leave a comment every time I visit. I can't visit 50 blogs a day, and comment every day on each one of them.
I'll always be here. I'll still blog, and I'll still post on Flickr. Almost nothing will change for you, from the outside. But I'll be online less than I used to. That's all.
Oh wow, that was one very ... very ... very boring post for you. I'm sorry. But I think I had to let you all know about how I felt.
I love you all. Thank you so much for taking on YOUR time to visit me & leave a comment. EACH of them is appreciated. Truly. Thank you. Now, please have a super nice day, and enjoy every second of it ! xoxox
Oh Sonia, I totally understand. I never quite understood how you did it all. You have been a super woman. I want to do all the same things, and be online, and write the emails... but truth is there is just no time. I struggle with this all the time, but as I said in my last convo to you, I just can not do it. It is making me physically ill. I must learn to take time out, and live the life around me too. I wish you well, and I am sure you are going to be just fine. A bit less online, and more time for you and for your family will make you feel so much better. Honestly. Sending you much love, annaxxx
ReplyDeleteHi Sonia,
ReplyDeleteOh dear, this is going to be a long post.
Ditto everything you wrote! I really WOULD have a blog and have an imaginary one in my head but I just can barely get my daily tasks done and find time with my family as it is. And my garden is quietly calling me for spring....My craft room is full of stacks of photocopied ideas and patterns from the web, magazines, inspirational books, and then, I do nothing, just feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities and completely burned out because I can decide WHAT I want to do!
I so admire all of you with blogs and shops, I would like to do it, but already now feel I am online too much.
On the other hand, the blogs out there and flickr photos are so inspiring and have brought a new quality to so many of us crafty people's lives. I just love it and would hate to miss it. Just think of the fun our little swap was! How fun it has been to "meet" you and so many others.
We just booked our summer trip to the Alps for 2 weeks and in previous years I've missed my computer, this time will be like FASTING! And I think that's going to be good.
There is just a balance you need. I actually spent a few minutes meditating this morning and think i will try to do this more consciously in the future, it will help me sort out all of my million thoughts.
But I hope and know you won't completely disappear, I love your comments so! They make my day!!! However, I will see less comments from you and I will understand completely.
Have a wonderful day, my friend! xo Karen
Dear Sonia.I am so with you on the 'online too much'.It does consume your family and it is wonderfully addictive because everyone is so inspiring and lovely. I turn my laptop on at 7am and it goes off when I go to bed-sometimes in the early hours of the morning.Its really crazy and I love it so much but I need to do what you are doing.Your family will be stronger for all the wonderful steps you are taking together and I wish you all the very best happiness.I wish we were so brave to step back a little for the better of us all.I will still visit you in the hope of a post!!Clarexxx
ReplyDeleteHi, I can tell you there are probably so many of us who feel exactly as you have described yourself, juggling so many things and trying to keep up with it all. I feel like that too. At the end of the day, it is our family and home life that keep us together and keep us safe and well (mentally and physically). There is not enough time to do everything every day and balance is so much better, I am still learning how to do it! It may take time for you to adjust but you will feel much better very soon and happy for spending more family time together. I wish you well, and much happiness
ReplyDeleteCarolyn :o)
exactly what I meant when I spoke of slowing down last week. Sometimes I wish the days were longer, but then I'd only try to cram more in so it wouldn't make any difference! The reason why I have days when I just don't do any visits or keep the computer switched off completely is to stop me from getting distracted. And I've removed some of my 'blogs that I follow' to stop myself from feeling guilty when I don't visit them. I've got it down to 4, but I think I ought to remove those too and give myself a break from feeling that I 'have' to make visits. It's a fine line between enjoying online time and feeling you must make visits.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, life is too short.
Thanks for your early comment. I started working on layouts last night but *ran out of time!!* (actually, got too tired to try to finish), so left it until today. things are looking more Sadieish again now. :)
Time I was off.
Oh my, I see me in your situation so well... I don't have a blog and sure have thought about having one, but I know that if I had one, I'd spent even more time on computer. I love the internet and the Flickr, I love blogs and finding all kinds of lovely stuff around here. I also love crafting and have my head full of ideas I'd love to make. But time... it's so limited, and I feel I need to give some of it to my family as well. So... I've come to the same conclusion... less time in here and more quality time for everything else.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing your blog... I read it often but don't have the energy to comment everytime. I love your stories, they're so full of life and you've got many wonderful thoughts and ideas. Just keep doing it, in your schedule :)!
Hugs, mervi
ps. don't know if that made any sense but i've been so tired lately... :(
Oh Sonia, I think most everyone can relate to this. It feels like whenever I'm online, it just sucks me in and I'll look up and an hour (or two) has passed by! Yikes! It's hard not to be consumed by all the goodness right at our fingertips. There is just so much out there and unfortunately never enough time. Its finding a balance that works for each of us and sometimes that can be so difficult but like you mentioned, life is short and we need to be here and now to enjoy it. We need to slow down. Stop rushing. Breathe.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, your work, your photos. Thanks too, for sharing your goodness. :)
xoxo,
deb
Ciao Sonia, I think we all can related to your post. :) Sometimes it's hard to find a balance. I love being online too, even if I'm always far behind everything (visiting blogs, posting, writing e-mails). For me do not turn on my laptop at all 1 or 2 days a week is working fine till now. :)
ReplyDeleteHave a happy day, I see your weather is nice today! Wow, 11°C! It's only 4°C here.
XOXOXOXOXOX
KIA from Scotland
Dear Sonia...I will be cheering you on as you take time to enjoy your life! Thank you for your always encouraging words, both here and in comments!
ReplyDelete(and I'm looking forward to trying out the apple oat flake muffin recipe when a friend visits tomorrow! fingers crossed!)
Oh my Sonia, I just read your post through 3 times. You write so beautifully, I feel like you are sitting with me and talking to me. I hear your worries, there is sooo much inspiration out there and it is so easy to spend hours surfing all the amazing sites and blogs, yours is included here. If you were sitting with me I'd squeeze your hand and tell you its ok. Dont worry about not slowing down sooner, dont have regrets, you've made wonderful friends and invested in those relationships, I value your daily posts and your wonderful comments, you've lifted me on so many occassions when I really needed it (I wont go into the reasons why ). And its ok if you step back, I hope and pray we will be friends forever, so its ok sweetie. Go plan, spend more time with your boys. Much love ALWAYS Clare XXX
ReplyDeleteSonia, I know that you know I understand completely! It's never been a challenge for me to try to post less often, but one thing I have done is to try to limit the blogs I read to my very favorite ones. It's probably easier for me in that I haven't developed online friendships as many folks as you have, but it is an easy way to reduce online time. I decided that I have plenty, in fact, too much inspiration, so reading fewer blogs helps to keep me from feeling like I'm not doing enough because I'm not comparing myself to as many other bloggers.
ReplyDeleteYou are a joy! God bless you!
Love,
Katy
Dear Sonia! I really do understand why you will have a lifestyle with less pay, and more time together, the entire family.
ReplyDeleteMoney is not everything in life. It is too much stress alomost everyone's life.
I wish you good luck with your "new life". Hope you will find a new place to live, soon, and that everything workes out well.
Hugs from Bente
Hi Sonia! Just wanted to post a little comment here, too, so I hope you see it since it's a few days past. :) You are wise beyond your years! So smart to have such a great perspective on life! (((Hugz to you!))))
ReplyDeleteje ne déménagerais pas cette année, je n'ai qu'un seul enfant, mon mari travaille de 9/19 + gardes + congrès, j'habite à la campagne... différent de vous... et pourtant !
ReplyDeletepourtant j'applaudis haut & fort tes mots qui depuis plusieurs mois déjà pourraient être les miens, tant cela reflète ma manière de bloguer, de networker, d'utiliser le net (ordi que j'éteins parfois quelques jours d'affilée)
on ne peut pas être partout, tout le temps.
après avoir lu ce billet, je n'en ai que plus d'estime pour toi.
bravo !
vis ta vie. aime et partage avec les tiens. regarde tes garçons grandir... le reste vient après.
A wonderful post Sylvia = } Your blog is my "go to" blog, the only one on my toolbar, and I just want you to know that you have really touched my life and my heart. I too am limiting my time on the computer, so while I haven't been leaving comments, I wanted you to know that reading your blog is a treat that I give to myself, and I just want to say thank you, and I'm so glad you're not going anywhere.
ReplyDeletexoxo, Deb
Oh sweet friend, I completely relate. I've had to scale back too and it's a little frustrating at times because I really wish I had the time to do it all. If I figure out how to conjure up a few more hours in the day, I'll be sure to pass some along to you. big hugs. Lisa
ReplyDelete